Talking ‘bout my generation…

I do not give out parenting advice, and frankly, no one should.  There is no one way to parent.  I believe that as long as we don’t emotionally or physically hurt our children, it is up to each person how they want to do it.  I am certain that many mothers see me in the store or park with my son and think to themselves, “if that were my kid…”and then go on a tirade about what they would do to my little boy to make sure he doesn’t act like that. 

I had a lot of struggles with Mikey.  From speech, to behavior (which is tied to speech) to now potty training, parenting him has been difficult at times.  And while I’m sure other parents will look at us and think he is a “bad” kid, I know the truth.  I know he is an incredibly sweet, caring and intelligent almost 3 year old who is a true boy’s boy.   A little boy who loves to wrestle, pretend to blow things up and get dirty.  A little boy who will defend himself and his little sister if need be.  I also know what he isn’t.  A coddled little boy who has a sense of entitlement and doesn’t know what no means. 

If my son falls, he is told to shake it off (as long as my inlaws are not around of course!).  If he wants to climb something or jump on something, he is usually encouraged to do so.  I don’t want my son to get hurt but I also don’t want him to develop a fear for an adventure.  Children are supposed to try new things and cuts and bruises are a part of growing up; that’s why I didn’t wear a skirt until high school.  I am also the parent most people hate, whether they have children or not, because I am the parent that let’s their child throw a tantrum in the middle of a store or any other public setting and will completely ignore him.  Yup, I do not care.  My son can scream all he wants and I just ignore while disgusted onlookers judge me and go home reaffirmed as to why they don’t have children or why they are better parents.  But trust me, I do this for the better of society. 

Too many times I see parents give in to their children because they don’t want the fuss or embarrassment.  Johnny wants a toy and you said no.  Johnny throws a fit, he gets the toy because that has quieted him down and allows you to keep shopping.  Good for you.  You might think you won the battle but you will definitely lose the war.  People my age are so concerned with treating their children as equals and giving them absolutely everything their hearts desire.  But here’s the catch.  They are not our equals, they are our children and in the same way society’s children.  We are charged with raising responsible, empathic children who can grow up and make society better.  Instead, my generation is raising a society that will not know how to lose gracefully because their sports teams don’t have winners or losers.  My generation is raising a society where if a child falls of a slide, then this child cannot go back on the slide, showing them that if you get hurt, you just don’t try again.  My generation is raising a society where authority and teachers are not respected because after all, who are you to talk to my child this way.  My generation is raising a society where patience is nonexistent because we as adults need everything done yesterday, showing them that they should have everything by last week.  We are raising a generation where hand sanitizer is readily available and applied not allowing our children to be exposed to germs.  We are raising a generation where test scores and extracurricular activities are the only ways to judge a character.   

The Greatest Generation wasn’t concerned with making sure their kids wore bike helmets.  They didn’t care too much about explaining why the child’s actions were wrong and then hugging it out.  I’m not saying we should go back to full blown beating our children but we have to return to the time where we were parents and they were children.  We have to teach our children that in this world, you can’t always be what you want.  Instead, you can be what you are good at and have a talent for and work really hard towards being.  No one should feel entitled to anything and children need to learn to stand up for themselves and make their own mistakes.  What’s the best way to learn that the oven is hot?  Touching it.  And that is it.  My generation needs to stop worrying about sanitizing their children and wrapping them in bubble wrap and get them ready for the unfair world that lies ahead.  While I like to think that Mikey can be and do whatever he wants, I know he can’t, no one can.